I once had a brother .
He died just today
Gone once and forever
Yet right here he stays .
I would have nothing to give but to you I gave all.
To me now your gone ,yet your shadow still falls.
Your heart ,
still heard beating set deep in your chest.
You’ve veins full of blood ,your lungs full of breath .
Farewell my old friend , i wish u the best.
Your dead to me now ,
Still you walk with the rest.
Ive said my goodbyes.
I’ve laid you to rest .
You get what you give and you gave me regret.
The one I called brother in this tale I tell ,
he no longer walks beside me,
My Brother ,your dead to me now .
Hello. I don’t think it is poetic criticism, or help with language and punctuation you seek, so I’ll leave that…but thanks for what seem sincere, in this, and the other, longer poem.
Splendid