Let’s be all glamorous,
You know you want to.
Let’s be all free,
And careless and happy.
You know you didn’t want to fight the war,
You didn’t even have to.
Just say that you didn’t fight the war,
And that you can’t,
Fight it again.
Come on, let’s go up to that bar,
And dance, and drink, and smoke if that’s your fortune,
And we can be happy.
Don’t worry about what gender you are dancing with,
It’s all the same.
Men, women, boys, there you are drink your cares away,
Wash your nightmare clean with all that liquid.
She’s not worth it, that vixen you’ve been hanging out with,
Take her instead. She’s young and clean and fresh,
She’ll be your friend.
Never mind if she has a moustache and wears trousers,
That’s all in the appearance,
And appearances fail the person every time.
She can be your friend, so leave the other woman behind.
We’re your family now.
Trust me, I’ll be your father,
All high and wise and noble,
And see how intelligent I am,
Always quick-witted to put the bigot down.
Don’t worry about your family,
You have us now.
We’ll be kind, and hard,
And we will point you in the right direction,
So that you won’t make a mistake.
Never mind if you haven’t seen your friends in thirty years,
And that she stinks and costs money.
It’s my money, you’ll earn it for me,
Just mind your place.
Be stiff when I tell you to be stiff,
And drink your nightmares away,
Because don’t you know that they didn’t really happen,
And you’re making it all up.
I’ll kill you, if I want,
Because I hate a normal man.
I just don’t like achievers, or straights, or soldiers, or heterosexuals,
So mind your damned manners,
Else I will torture you,
And you will die,
And we will forget you.