so believed

   so believed*

no child
this gentle man
yet don’t they say
it’s the children
who see angels
who hear god’s
voice above their
own
he had not written
to his best love*
for a year
yet sick now
unto death
his body ripped
through with pain
he begged his doctor
to write her
and ask of that
which truly ailed him
since only she could
know who knew of
his angels and the
gilded hours he touched
his fingers on those
of his god he sought
to free from man’s walls
into immensity
this child filled in heart
still with her love hers
for his his for hers
believed only she
could undo the knot
that crushed him
hard within
the metaphysical.

*if merely ‘sick’
this petulant
child would
not hear
of any cause
in name
lest in hearing
it be that.

19 december 2015

*inspired by the passage on page 82 Stephanie Dowrick’s ‘In the company of Rilke’, where she writes:

‘Having written to Lou 2 works before his death, for the first time in a year, describing pain that ‘loosens me.  Day and night,’ he ‘implored his doctors to “ask Lou what is wrong with me.  She is the only one who knows.”

*Lou Andreas-Salome

*based on his doctor’s comments where Rilke wishes not to discuss his illness under any name or conventional circumstance (as drawn from J. R von Salis’s work ‘Rainer Maria Rilke: The years in Switzerland’).

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