defenestration

1

this should be the 1st word

but it’s dropped

for affect [sic]

f/or maybe not. to

 

despeculate. kill/in-                ter In

1

quick

 

–

 

pull the door

–

 

fast like you’d slam but

do not.

 

death by

rope not          short enuf.

 

the madness born frm what you can’t remember

or fail to master,

 

& if you’d understood/foresaw the consequence

of Alone Time…

 

never would have happened.

 

 

No-one wants to be you.

 

if the head bends

bang another in &

harder & i’m tossing off some thing in

b fuckin Minor because i

doN’t

 

because i don’t have words when someone fucks me ova.

 

i’m trying to break the door

down, talk to.

 

don’t say That Was  Epic, even if yr greenpeace or someone.

better even to be stiff. un

delivered frm. formal, & for that,

 

i’m going to be a prick &

discontinue my contributions;

 

have that flat white

every tuesday.

 

one symptom of autism is the failure of empathy but so what.

 

2

the easiest thing in the world is to Breathe.

 

second, is Relax.

 

my uncle said. but that was 1971 when i was

6 & so i said:

 

what if u fucking got asthma, cunt

or anxiety

 

& it turns to shit, to

fisticuffs &

 

we haven’t spoken since.

 

–

i want to break

make you

remember me by

–

books

good works

down the stairs &

 

one image tumbles

forms another. i want

to break

–

1^st thought is the best, is –

studies have shown

 

what you know what you don’t know

See those

icons My

pure mind, my

protestant heart – to rid not

for ethical reasons.

 

don’t give me the facts.

yesterday

 

i’m raking leaves in the garden,

& i know what

 

what it’s like on the far

right, off the page

weak at the knees at the knees i want

to stop, to lie at yr feet, &

stop. breathe

 

like when u tell me to relax, to

take it easy. i’m not

going to hurt you.

 

we can be

superfriends

 

let me

get that,

for you.

 

run yr  fingers

read me like a

 

–

take note. fill me

in with

slick

–

you know

that’s u, right

 

evidently

we’re not done            the V

of sky                           between dreamscrapes

snag the ear.

 

1^st thought = best thought.

 

nowadays i don’t throw my servants out the window.

i learn to curb my instinct.

 

as an aside

an experiment in

 

Law,

inter alia,

is an instrument

to beat the poor with.

 

i want to use the right side of yr brain more.

Not Use but.

Get in Touch with.

 

i’m a t.o.o.l but it isn’t my fault.

one tries not to be y’know & nothing but

i’m not a nihilist or any thing case yr

wondering.

 

3

when we meet

i squeeze thru the crack of u.

 

i eat nothing.

 

i  fuckin fainted in the toilet

hit my head on the wooden ledge

of the bathtub;

 

saw no star but

darkness &

 

if it happens again i go to a doctor.

see what they say.

what they give me.

 

i’m nowhere.

that’s the fear,

the fear i’m

deadend. i declare,

 

for something to say, to be

– to snap

yr fingers to. thru w

shit job w

no job, i’m

gone

 

drift across &

cloud

winters

Bitter Cold It Was

 

boy. from milan we sail north

to zurich & when we get there it’s –

 

i mist something because

when we left in the morning

it was nineteen

 

eightynine & there was

no fucking euro & the Belgium cops

hauled me off the bus & said

in demotic French:

 

you, Sir,

are a fucking criminal.

 

will the howling winds never cease?

 

 

 

 

 

 

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