Sun screen, pine needles, chlorine.
The best of a festive perfume.
Mint on potatoes, basil on tomatoes.
Christmas lillies filling the room.
The rattling scatter of Lego.
spilling out of its box.
Kersplosh in the pool. Well practised bombs.
Kids laughing. Dad snoring. Cork pops.
The sweet crunch of sun-soft scorched almonds.
A pungent Marlborough sav.
Dark red strawberries and cherries.
Trifle with cream, and a pav.
Out of the pool to play with new toys.
Kids dripping. Feet slipping. Grazed knees.
Bubbles poured. Glasses raised. There’s a text.
Christmas cheer from a friend overseas.
The sun slowly sinks, holding onto the day.
The sky glowing sunburnt and fiery.
Family together. Dinner outside.
Tired. Contented. And merry.
Hi, Emjay. while reading your poem I found myself, though enjoying it, tripping on the rhythm here and there…and because I found it quite evocative and without artifice or exaggeration I wanted, and so wrote, a version which was more suited my ear. hope you do not feel interfered with 🙂
sun screen, pine needles, chlorine.
the best of a festive perfume;
mint on potatoes, basil on tomatoes;
christmas lillies filling the room.
the rattling scatter of Lego
spilling out of its box. kersplosh
in the pool with practised bombs.
kids laughing. dad snoring.
cork pops. scorched almonds
sun-soft, the sweet crunch.
a pungent Marlborough sav.
strawberries and cherries.
trifle with cream, and a pav.
kids dripping. feet slipping.
grazed knees. out of the pool
to play with the new toys.
bubbles poured. glasses raised.
there’s a text from a friend overseas.
slowly the sun sinks, holding the day.
the sky glowing sunburnt and fiery.
family together. dinner outside.
Tired. Contented. And merry.
Not feeling interfered with at all. Very pleased you like it your way.
I’m happy reading the original. Sounds good to my ears.
I was deliberately playing with pace – some of my favourite lines I’ve written.
‘Without artifice’ – that was a goal too. Was trying to capture simple pleasures (senses).
Thanks!