Think if you can a picture
Of you and I embraced in a kiss
Feel how I tremble inside
Sorry if there was something I missed
Outside tonight
We can take on the cloak of the dark
Before the dawn of another day
He said this is what it sounds like
When purple doves cry
You are the feathers of doves
But you requested I stay away
What was I meant to do
A lonely world so cold
But you’re young and bored
I mistook you for something else
I was voted most likely to not succeed
With you beside me was simply a dream
Yes they talk of me up in the skies
I would have shown them
But the news says never till I die
You are just another thing I needed
I’ll find another like before
Before I fall off another ledge land head first upon the floor.
4 thoughts on “You’ve done that again?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Ive edited it and discovered errors with open graph, I was hoping someone would post something to see if my changes last night took effect, thats a brickwall I fight often I implement changes to the code and its not untill someone posts that I dont verify if my latest configurations have worked. I could post a number of my pieces of rubbish to test the line but no one wants to see half a dozen of my rubbish posts whilst I test configurations that’s why I appreciate you lot, it is a privilege to have you all sharing your poetry here and tolerating my poor attempts at code. Maintaining websites is pretty much a full time job I run for example updates and it breaks functionality which doesn’t get noticed until someone posts something you’ve basically got to update and run checks which can’t been done until someone posts I could post heaps of content but that would be making the site look like it was all about me and that’s not the right projection I want with the site it is built and maintained for everyone all of you. I kicked a user the other day who was doing his best to make it his own personal blog and was the first time I’ve deleted content as much as I hate to. This post is a rubbish post just a message to those out there that take notice even though it will never bear fruit it’s gratifying to have you guys tell me where to edit and that’s the kind of support we want thank you.
I like the conversational tone of this, JJ. If you didn’t want the ‘nights’ you could lose them easily enough, e.g.
Outside tonight
We can take on the dark
The war ends somwhere
Before the dawn
I like its directness; different from a lot of your previous stuff where the images are sometimes almost overpowering.
Yea it’s a ramble what or how should I replace the format? I didn’t cut enough before posting it’s more a message post than anything of poetic merit
I feel the pain.
You may want to look at the ”nights” in lines near the top:
Outside tonight
We can take on the night
The war ends through the night