Two More Poems About My Self

1. Dreso.

I was eager, proud, and resolute
and I had yet to recognise
only very little
of my Will
inhaled talking, filled
the breath
with words exhaled

like moths
or wasps or worse
the ear made
the dirty feet of flies.

I did a lot I guess
I thought it play
resolutely eager
on subjects made of aether

and behaved, like oneness
was undoing his zipper
behind your back.
You can remember

standing on a stool
while you changed
a light, bulb
in your mouth
standing on a chair
on a couch
to reach the fitting?

Such thoughts were I
found nudging on
their unstable platforms
thoughts which made you
grimace, I simply
did not realise
this branch of mankind bandaged
held together by an anguish
of monopolised protections
and the unsaid relied on by Denial

to condition, shape, craft,
mind superluminal
conditions I said mind-control
to low flying estimates
of Ambition great and detrimental.



2. Al-Fur Altitudes.

Small furies, nothing major,
in a way Society was a method
to achieve an altitude
in which the ‘I’ of all participants
could let in understanding of itself
relative the ‘yourself’ in others.

and, as the eye measures height
relative to the ground, and males
take their bearings on horizons
of ‘women’ relative experience,
in this instance, on the occasion
of the poem, and only for the transverse
way a Poem lays across the page
relative the actual occurrence, the ‘feminine’
here is represented…or hairless,
as the memory takes it, in Males, bodiborn,
dancerlean, altered forms of men
in divisive, sad mathematics,
that, if used to your advantage,
you will better comprehend
the femiNine, the oddness of it
has the mystery of a number
which returns an individual to itself:
I was the one less hurt, a type
of zero multiplied by nought,
so I gave them rounded Hermes
health, so I thought,…well, stamina, at least,
taking her into these hands
to do the math, to smooth the mended fur of foxes
who had fought amongst each other
for the Cock. I filled their pantries,
picked their locks, I trimmed their tails—
it will mean more than it should
once it is written out, and dismantled,
wholly many crimes full of strut,
but I didn’t give a toss, or else
I was a mutt, arriving unannounced,
in me gel, blotto, ditto stolen flowers,
who sniffs you through your pants,
leaving that distracting imposition
of impression in your field
of thought, they were Taxis at a Club
where androgyny was the norm.,
all stiffs, and butts, the dotted eyes
and cuts, and nothing was recorded,
and with all kinds reported, on the side,
saddle, ride the males, cried coming
to the femi-nine, a schemer, things…
to know ya baby, born to sooth this wound
of gender, it will leave a lot unsolved,
a lot of extra pudding, padding pushing in your crotch,
leaving raised the one I had to carry;
the single bone…gawd, cd u imagine
if they married? other strays pawed away as well
at what you had us bury in your backyard, you widget,
you MeaTapp, you weigh us palm to palm; you run
engraved forearms between the buttocks,
crevice to the novice, I’d entice you visit
me, to slip you one alone, and, in a way, Society,
to slip you one as well, I’d say I showed you all
my scars; one to one, I had my wavelength—
who doesn’t, I ran things, at least I thought myself
the boss of smallness hurt, you could loan
me to your friends, I knew just when to leave,
shame would take years to recognise, now
it’s only there as something happened, a
curio-college to my insight
development; I came right, eventually,
over-ratio to begin with, so I circled
like the hound of thirty three
lines ago, unsure of where the trail led,
poet/looter, after pure emotion,
hungry for your feelings, the ones
distort our thinking,
like cluster galaxies bending
with their gravity combined the light
of other stars, the awesome natural self
emoting, but in groups, and the interfering
intellect messing up the transcript
like massive aggregates of institutional
conditioning, entrainment, keeping us
all a-taxi-ing, refuelling on their runways,
changing your mind without you, and that
was where the stool-kicking happened—
which is not to imply, not to admit I knew,
and took a pick and mallet to the cornerstones
of light cemented usable as ‘true’
thoughts, composite usually, alloy
-dented foundations Balance depends on—
but so many, so often, everywhere, resulting
in my solitude at parties
celebrating that very ratio
of expectation and reward, for now
sniffing around the room alone, a small radio
will do, tuned to the furry edges
on a spice rack playing obscure quartets.
And as one Age kneels down, dying
—& forget the little plane a moment,
and forget the shemen, the femi-nines, it is you,
in your own time, making touch
at the feral point of being yourself,
alloys of bone and photon, I can see this
Society as she had seen it, & I wish it more
than a common taking, a thing
to want to live up to, but I’m cool
with it now, today, and tomorrow.

2 thoughts to “Two More Poems About My Self”

  1. Wow, Dean, it’s like someone got one of those presses that crush cars, and you managed to stuff most of reality in it, and have wheeled out the resulting stratified block. This will keep me picking away for aeons. Maybe Mark is right; you’ve upped a notch!

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